You Know
by JBPones
Summary: Deathly Hallows Spoilers. A look at Harry's inner struggles during the seventh book and how so much can change if you let your emotions get the best of you.


"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore

***DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS***

When darkness has taken over, and hope has been lost, and the eyes of great men and women have forever closed at the hand of monstrous villain, who does the world call on? You. And you've always known that. You knew, deep down beneath your childish ignorance, oh yes, you knew. The moment you stepped through Hogwart's castle walls, you knew. You thought you'd do anything to protect it. At first you thought it was simply the thought of having a home were you are welcome and loved, then you realized it was more, much more. It was the _fact_ that you had a home. Then you grew, changed, lost things, became dark and twisted inside. You knew it would be up to you. You knew the world was counting on you to destroy the darkness and bring light to a world that had grown so cold. You knew it would be all on you.

And that changed you. It made you see that you had a purpose in life, and that purpose was to kill or be killed. You saw the future and you hated it. You grew to hate everything about it, and soon started to hate everyone around. Your hate turned into pure anger. You were mad, still are, but back then you were so furious you could have killed with a smile. It would have done you good, you thought, to unleash your fury on the world. But something happened. You lost something. Someone. The only person you considered to be a true family member. Just as you'd found him, you lost him and the evil was set free on the world. You watched, in horror, as your godfather left you.

But the pain didn't stop there, did it? Oh, no. You lost another. A person who had been such a huge part of you that it felt as though you lost yourself. And you watched him be killed. You watched as his eyes shut, his heart stopped, in the green light that haunts your dreams.

You lost him, you lost what he resembled. He was like a father and yet so much more than that. For six years of your life he was everything you'd wanted. A person who cared about you, looked after you, would never hurt you. What more could you ask for? But they took him away, too, didn't they? And it hurt you. So much so that you became twisted inside, and you knew. You knew what had to be done. For Sirius, for Dumbledore, for Hogwarts and everyone in it, for the world. You knew, yes, you knew.

Now he's coming for you. And you know what this means. Kill or be killed. Maybe both, if you're lucky. Emotions control you more than thought does. You're angry, suffering, grieving, furious, terrified. And all these people, all these friends. They call you things. Things you want to believe. They call you brave. They call you courageous. Amazing. Talented. The Chosen One. But you know the truth, don't you? You know much more than they ever could. Should you tell them? No. No, they don't need to hear it. Not now, not when armies are being built for a war.

Voldemort. Oh how you hate him, despise him, _loathe_ him. And it hits you, as you think of the man who killed your parents, your fellow student, your godfather, your teacher. It hits you hard, in the chest. A pain so deep within you that you think it can't be real. It feels as though you might cry. And just as you think you won't cry, the tears run down your face.

He took everything away from you. _Everything_. And still threatens to take even more. He took your parents who you never had the chance to know, the godfather you had only begun to understand, the home you thought you'd never have, the friends so great that you'll never find better, the owl that at times was your only pal. He took _everything_. He wants to leave you with _nothing_. Nothing but yourself. No friends, no family, no one. Just you. And he wants to finish what he started all those years ago.

But as your eyes sting from the tears and your heart aches for those you'll never see again and you can't breath and your blood pumps so hard through your veins that you feel as though you might explode with anger, you realize something. Something Dumbledore once told you.

You realize that you know, had only forgotten in your anger, that there's one thing that Voldemort will _never_ be able to take from you. A thing, so powerful, no magic can defeat it.

Love. The _love_ your parents had for you when they died. The _love_ Cedric Diggory had for life when he was killed. The _love_ Sirius had for you when he past through the veil. The _love_ Dumbledore had for Hogwarts and its students, including both you and Draco Malfoy, when he asked an unbelievable task of Snape.

Severus Snape. Even the love he had for your mother was enough to keep him loyal to Dumbledore for so long. He died still in love with her. He died with love for the part of her that lives on in you.

And as your tears end and the anger seems to dull for the first time in ages, you feel something filling in the sudden emptiness. Something you'll need to defeat Voldemort. A thing, powerful in its own way. A thing so many people have lost, but that you can bring back to them because really that's what they've been waiting on this whole time. Waiting for you. And you know, your destiny is not to kill or be killed and be angry while you try for whichever seems best. No, you know for certain this time that you destiny has always been and always will be so much simpler than that. And you wonder why you never saw it before. You know what your purpose is. To bring something back to the people and you know, you _know_ that you are its symbol and that is why you were put through so much hell. If you can have it, anyone can.

You smile, and for the first time in a long time you can feel it. You have _hope_.


End file.
